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Before my son was born, I had all these “plans” and expectations on how I was going to jump back into my life and motherhood in general. Please take a moment to see how the word plans is in quotation marks.
None of my so called plans have really done shit to be perfectly honest. Do you know how long it has taken me to write this blog post three fucking days. THREE.
Some of these life updates that I’ll share with you here are self imposed and some of them have been out of my control. What I have not been prepared for or maybe I don’t remember was how all consuming my baby would be and how the emotions of that good and bad would fucking hit me.
Now first things first. I love my children and have absolutely zero regrets on having them, and I’d do child birth again and again if that meant having them in my life, I truly believe they are worth it ten times over.
This past month I’ve found my self questioning my abilities to be an adult in my life, that is not absolutely insane and screaming out of frustration at everyone. The emotions of motherhood and also balancing being a psychic medium have been hard.
Oh, you think you have a ghost in your closet? I’ve been watching about twenty walk up and down my stair case at night while I’m rocking my baby to sleep and have zero energy to do any spirit release work on them so, they still walking up and down my stairs to this day.
Yeah child birth can trigger a spiritual awakening in which you can see ghosts. I happen to be a psychic medium who doesn’t just see them with her third eye but also her real life eye balls as I call them. Don’t wish for this ability if you don’t want what comes with it. I’m just sayin… However, back to motherhood..
But, I wish I would have better prepared myself for all the times I felt like I was disappointing my spouse or my other children because something wasn’t getting done that needed my attention. Those dishes I said I’d do two hours ago yeah the baby hasn’t stopped crying, where is dinner you ask? It’s gonna be late or whatever assortment of fruit and tuna and crackers we have on hand.
This having a new born thing has been hard, harder than I remember. Honestly, I don’t know why either. If, I could put my finger on what makes this time more challenging than the other two, it would probably be my amount of patience and the fact that I have zero these days. But, since I’ve been so busy reflecting and holding my screaming child every thing seconds, here is a list of things, I’m trying very hard to reincorporate into my life to help me feel more human and maybe this will help a first time mom struggling too.
- A daily tarot reading for myself.
- Writing. (I’m currently writing for kindle vella in serial format, I’ll have fiction and non fiction listed over there. ) You can also find me on the website Medium .
- Taking a shower daily
- Eating anything even if it’s a brownie for breakfast. I’ve earned that brownie after all.
- Hydration. It’s amazing how water can change your mood.
- Getting out of the fucking house. Even if it’s a walk around the neighborhood. I’ve recently started homeschooling my other two older children and we’ve been doing park meet up’s with other home schooling kids that have really helped my mental sanity.
- Asking for help. I’ve always struggled with this. Even as a child. I wanted to figure everything out on my own and do all the things at once. I recently discovered that will just contribute to burning you out mentally while you walk around Walmart at 11:00 pm with a screaming baby and you will be crying as well. Don’t do that. Don’t be me. Ask for help. Take your breaks. You deserve it. You just gave birth to a fucking human being.
If, you enjoyed this article please don’t be scared to reach out and tell me how you feel. I’m always available in the comments and through email.
Pen Pal Question:
How are you getting through your hard times?