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So, it’s the day before Thanksgiving. Most of you all are getting your homes ready right now either for guests or for yourselves. This year my cute little family is not entertaining guests. Which I’m okay with. I’m still cleaning like a mad woman and doing tarot readings until the last fucking second because that’s just who I am on the inside. If, I’m not down to the wire on something, chances are it’s not getting done.
I’ve realized through much trial and error over the years, that as a trauma response I’m best when under stress. Does this work for everyone? Nope. Should you personally do this? Probably not but ultimately you are the judge of that and if you do be prepared to make some mistakes, fail at somethings, not everything will be perfect, and something somewhere will either be forgotten or not done at all.
I didn’t choose this non perfectionist hot mess express through stress, life and trauma it became me. A foundation if you will of my personality and my drive to get things accomplished. My main problem is I want all the things. All of them, and I’ll work myself to the bone to get them, this includes Thanksgiving Day dinner and this is why you should check in on your “mom tribe”. If, you don’t have a mom tribe, this is a “safe space” to create that. Follow the blog, add a comment, make a donation to the blog whatever you feel called to do.
I’m going to start off by telling you the about the first year I solo made my first Thanksgiving day dinner. It was 2016 and I had just had my second child. My grandmother the matriarch of our little extended family and truly the glue that held us together had passed away the year previous and I longed for the days that were better, peaceful and less mournful.
Two nights before Thanksgiving I decided to host it by MYSELF. Truly I was feeling lonely because I didn’t have the comfort of my grandmother. There would be no idyllic drive through the countryside of North Carolina to her house with my husband and children. No warm smells to greet me, no football on the tv and no comfy couch to lay on after stuffing my face with her food.
That atmosphere I had to create myself. My family in our grief had splintered each section of us off doing our own things after our grandmother passed the year before around Thanksgiving. So, this year if I wanted that atmosphere I had to create it myself. It was time after all to create my own traditions. But, looking back I wish I had had some type of group chat support group to get me through that first solo cooking experience. What I wouldn’t have given for a group of moms to hype me up.
So, this blog post will be dedicate to how you can help your mom tribe friends and support them during that solo cooking experience. Especially if their mental health, or physical health or spiritual health is suffering.
Hype up the group chat with funny memes
Set up that group chat and just send those funny memes, sometimes those meme’s or tic toks are the only things that keep me sane enough from not burning my house down and starting over. Meme’s can give me the miraculous patience to deal with sibling fights, burnt food, or when someone asks for just one more thing before I sit down to eat. Hype that mom bestie tribe up with your funniest and most relatable ones, paired with wine this will surely save your significant other’s life for when they might ask too much or when weird uncle Bob gets’ political.
Occasionally during my cooking time I need a mother fucking life line. Shit has gone down hill and I’ve missed an ingredient or I just want someone to talk to while I want for the pie to bake or was a dish for the 100th time that day. Zoom your mom tribe, bring community even if you are far away to the kitchen.
Bring the wine
Let’s be real here, cooking in a hot kitchen sometimes with out help can make a gal feeling thirsty. Who needs H2O when you can hop by the store and get your favorite wino. Don’t have time to drink with your friends? Drop it off on the porch with a cute note.
Have the coffee ready.
I saw this Tic Tok where this girl was describing these moments in her childhood. That during stressful days her mother would pack them up in the car and they would head to their mom’s bestie’s house. She was the adopted “aunt”, this said aunt always had coffee ready, and kids to entertain the girl during her childhood. Sometimes we need that friend who always has the coffee ready for you. The coffee can be helpful when needing to vent about your crazy political in laws that you had not prepared for, or when you just need to cry.
Break Out The Witchy Stuff
If, by the time you have done all the cooking, sat through too much bullshit from your family and need an escape, if you must escape at night, bring the tequila and I’ll as the bestie have the magic. Obviously, at this point Thanksgiving did not go as planned and alcohol and magic is what’s needed. Maybe craft a new spell, put each other in a trance or have a cackle over marg’s and the full moon if you are blessed to have one during Thanksgiving.
Gift Them A Tarot Reading
Maybe you aren’t particularly witchy yourself but, you have a trusted reader that’s your go too. Ask said tarot reader if you are allowed to purchase a reading for them either in advance of Thanksgiving or have it delivered on the day of. The gift of giving readings can be life changing. I myself have done numerous reading’s for bestie’s. Click here if you would like to book with me. My readings are usually distance through a zoom call or passive via a youtube link sent to your email.
Finally Give Some Gratitude
Finally, if you’re like “Bitch I Can’t do any of these things I’m busy.” You’re never too busy to say, “thank you.” Thank them for choosing you to be their mom bestie to begin with. As mothers we have to plan all our adult time and activities. If, you are apart of that consider yourself a little lucky and vice versa. Tell your bestie how thankful you are for them. How they pick up the phone or answer that text message, they are there. We are all after all just wanting connection in this big huge world.
Give thanks, show appreciation, and do some self care. You deserve it today fellow moms. Thanks for reading.
Want to be Pen Pals?
If, you would like to talk to be pen pals with me just answer the question below. What would be your favorite way to spend time with your friends? I look forward to hearing from you.