This blog post was supposed to be something more.. Then what it is shaping out to be. For that I apologize. You see I went through this moment that was dark. Darker then what I expected it to be also lasting longer than I thought it would. I felt lost, confused as to what my path should be. So, I did what I always promised myself I would not. I left. I left my spiritual path. In my logical and emotional mind it looked like I had failed.
My goal here is to let you all know my clients included, why I left for a short time and why I’m coming back in a way that also helps me continue to heal and be of service for others.
But, in my spiritual mind and body what I was really doing was something very different. Perhaps some of you who read this blog can relate. I was resting. I was resting inside a moment where I found no light.
In the spiritual world we call these “dark nights of the soul.” When I heard people speaking about their own personal “shadow moments” or “dark nights of the soul” I always felt like they were so much more wiser than I.
After going through my own personal struggles, with my mental health and using my spirituality as a tool to help with my healing journey. I have a deeper understanding of the stories that I had the honor of hearing that came before me.
So what did I do that helped?
Honestly? I have no fucking clue. I know for the first time in a long time. I rested. Truly and utterly rested. I didn’t feel guilty about not returning a text message right away. I didn’t feel like I needed to provide an explanation for what I was doing. I listened to my body more. When it wanted cake for breakfast, I ate it. When I needed to sleep I did and when I needed to cry I did that too.
I truly think letting go of providing a spiritual service for others for a time helped me heal. Helped me ground back into myself. Mental health is important. Finding something that helps you, become more of yourself is IMPORTANT.
I think I’ve probably spent about three months or more in this world. This dark moment. I know it was a test, sent by me, my higher self. If, I could have a conversation with my higher self. I’d call her a bitch. I often think when I’m going through pain of any kind emotional, spiritual, physical, “why?” why did I choose this? (If, you believe in reincarnation if you have made it this far in the ramble congratulations.)
The only answer I’ve come up with is it’s not the stereotypical “to become stronger”. It’s just to “pay attention”. Pay attention to your strength, stop ignoring your light, pay attention and take your own fucking advise. Pay attention to your body, your physical body, your spiritual body and your emotional body.
Pay attention to those that wish you the best, but don’t hold expectations behind those words of something in return. Pay attention to the people who hold expect something in return when they do provide help.
So, for the rest of this year I want to continue to document paying attention to myself, because as a woman, as a mother, as a wife, and tarot reader I pay attention to a lot of other people besides myself. If, you are one of those people who have found your way in this cycle too. Step back. Turn off your phone and PAY ATTENTION! Pay attention to yourself for yourself.
I wish you the best dear readers.
If, you are struggling to get there in honor of spooky season I’m opening myself up to tarot readings, reiki healing and akashic records readings. Please email me to schedule your service Contact Me
Checkout out more of the blog: Psychic Attacks and How You Can Stop Them
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